Friends

The Vicious Circle podcast on violations of Rule One:

"Those ammo fairies come out of nowhere and put bullets in the chamber when you're not looking."

Hmm. Ammo fairies. If they're anything like tooth fairies, maybe I should start leaving empty brass under my pillow to see what they give me in return.

Naah. I can hear elalyr now: "Honey, why is your pillowcase rattling?"

We... okay, elalyr fixed homemade pizza for dinner last night. While we were putting toppings on our respective concoctions, Riley wandered into the kitchen. At the crinkling sound of me opening the bag of pepperoni, he perked up.

"Riley, this is not cat food."

<myow?>

"Not cat food!"

<myow!>

"Okay, but don't say we didn't warn you. Look, meat frisbee!" I flipped a disc of pepperoni into the hall.

My lovely wife glared at me. "When he pukes, you're cleaning it up."

I peeked into the hall. "Well, he's licking it, but it's too big to get into his mouth." I snagged another piece of pepperoni, shredded it into bite-sized pieces, and dropped it in front of Riley. "There he goes. Om nom nom."

"You are so cleaning it up."

Riley sauntered into the kitchen, licking his chops. As of this morning, I don't think he's uneaten it.